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sex education

Children have an eager curiosity and mental flexibility that enable them to learn new things easily. A child's degree of understanding should never be underestimated. Sexual education can begin at a very early age. Sexuality is best introduced to the child as part of a loving and truthful family relationship. Nakedness within the home should not be discouraged and the child's body awareness should be cultivated. If parents express a lack of inhibition and guilt about nakedness and sexuality, their attitude will be reflected by the child.

Secrecy and stories concocted to shield the child from the truths of sexuality will only confuse the child and lead to guilt and neurosis. Children see through hypocrisy and are sensitive to, and affected by, the guilt feelings of others. A child should learn to view the body as a Temple of Love, a shrine to be shared only with those who are trusted and loved. Children can readily learn all the basic Tantric practices outlined in Part 1 of this book—the creative attitude, self-examination, Hatha Yoga, breathing, food awareness, diet, hygiene, bathing, Dream Yoga, massage, meditation, visualization, and so on—and this can constitute the basic grounding of their sex education. Example and shared participation in these activities are by far the best teaching method. Feelings of sexuality are an integral part of the experience of growing up, and should be explored in an atmosphere of openness, rather than viewed as a hidden or unmentionable experience. In this way the sudden traumas often associated with "revealing the facts of life" can be avoided. These "facts" should form the basis of what will be, for the child, a gradual familiarization with the full spectrum of love.

Children should be made familiar with depictions of sexual and sensual love, so that they develop a positive and healthy attitude to the images of love. Children have an innate sense of the truth; the best teaching method is direct and sensitive, incorporating sex education into the child's initiation into the greater mysteries of life.

Intimacy should pervade the family atmosphere. Encourage mutual bathing and mas-

sage, as well as shared participation in Yoga, dance, music, song, and household chores. "Sharing" is one of the most important factors for healthful intimacy in the family. Everyone has a selfish streak, and it is important to evolve out of selfishness and into a deep and compassionate awareness of the needs of others. Any situation that creates jealousies between children should be confronted early on, through a family "sharing" of all facets of the problem. This is the test of real love and is the ground for a healthful approach to sexuality.

Boys and girls are essentially very different; they should therefore be treated differently. A boy is interested primarily in the logic of life and looks for answers to every kind of question. Sex is a fascinating topic, even at an early age. Therefore logical and direct answers should be given to questions pertaining to sexuality. A boy should be taught sexual hygiene, how to wash his Lingam properly, and also the importance of keeping the anus clean. He should be told about erections, so he doesn't feel guilty when they manifest. A boychild represents a dominant Yang-force, the Solar Power, the Heavens, the aggressive and expansive qualities of consciousness. All these have to be refined and developed by right upbringing and education.

A girl is interested especially in the emotions of life and desires to intuit answers to life's questions. If parents recognize this basic difference in the approach to learning in males and females, there will be a discernible change in the child's attitude to education. A girl-child represents a dominant Yin-force, the Lunar Power, the Earth, the submissive and contractive qualities of consciousness. A

In the Orient children learn about sexuality very early in life. From a Japanese color print by Suzuki Harunobu, circa 1766.

Sex is not a taboo topic in Oriental cultures. The most natural of human acts, it should not be treated as a secret vice. From a Chinese print of the Ming dynasty.

girl tends to experience the world largely through sensory impressions. For a girl, the best introduction to sexuality is through refinement in the arts. A girl should be told to expect menstruation and be familiarized with her mother's menstrual procedures. She should be prepared, so that she can look forward to the time when she "becomes a woman."

Though there are male and female sides to each individual, sexuality springs from the dominance of one or the other gender. Thus, an enlightened approach to sex education pre-supposes that the inherent psychophysical differences between the sexes are made use of. One of the most recurrent findings of psychology is that there is an inherent difference in the abilities of the two sexes. Boys naturally build towers while girls build enclosures; boys are better at spatial thinking, numbers and logical problems, whereas girls generally learn to read earlier, speak earlier, and are better at perceiving emotions. Boys are generally more successful than girls in solving problems that require manipulation, have better daylight vision, and are able to withstand greater extremes of heat than girls, who usually have better night vision, are able to tolerate greater extremes of cold, and can process information more rapidly.

Children should be taught firmly and generously. It is quite common for a child to try to "gain ascendancy" over one or the other parent in an attempt to monopolize the family environment. All children respect authority if it is consistent and direct. Discipline in the home is important to all aspects of education, including sex education. Children

should not be given unlimited access to everything all at once, just as in Tantra the mystery teachings are reserved for those who are adequately prepared. It is the duty of parents to prepare their children for the world, rather than use them as vehicles for their own self-indulgence. Too often we see children mirroring parental neuroses with a naive innocence that often leads to deep-seated emotional problems later in life. Most of these problems are rooted in a lack of correct sex education, either through the bad example of parents or through a breakdown of family communication.

In most families, it is inevitable that children will overhear or see their parents making love. Though the mystery and magic of sexual union should be reserved as something to look forward to, as something sacred and special, children should not be kept unaware of the actual mechanics of sex. Rather than being left completely in the dark about "how mommy and daddy do it," or pushed into voyeurism to satisfy their natural curiosity, children should be gradually introduced to the realities of love-making. A door can be deliberately kept open, the child can be asked to light incense and bring flowers and refreshments while parents are expressing intimacy. There need not be blatant exposure, but rather a subtle sharing of the atmosphere of sexuality, so that the child naturally becomes aware of "what it's all about." It is completely natural for a mother to bring her baby into bed with her and her husband, even to nurse a child while making love. Likewise, children should be invited into the bedroom when a couple are in intimate embrace, since the atmosphere of love can only be healthful. By entering the magic circle of love, children can receive a deep initiation into sexuality.

Since ancient times illustrated sex manuals have played an important role in Oriental cultures. We have endeavored to make this book both an education into the nature of sexuality and an initiation into the real meaning of the creative function. Love-making is the most natural of all activities, and one in which shame has no part. The whole history of sexual neurosis in the West is rooted in the repression of sexuality and inadequate sex education. With the right approach to sexuality, life will become a more meaningful and joyous experience, the alchemy of ecstasy itself.

summary of secrets

Both Tantric and Taoist teachings present an enlightened view of sexuality that has much to contribute to Western culture. These teachings do not simply ask you to reconsider your attitude toward sex; rather, they offer a practical and evolutionary way of life in which sexuality is given a spiritual purpose. N o w that social hierarchies have lost their meaning and rulers have abandoned their function as ambassadors of the gods, the Sexual Secrets are finding their way into the mainstream of thought. No longer limited to the select few, these secrets offer deep insights into the real nature and purpose of existence. The teachings are eternal, optimistic, and transcendental; the holistic view of sexuality that they describe reaches from this world to the next, beyond even the limitations of life and death.

In the East sex was traditionally regarded

as a high art form worthy of respect. Instead of viewing sexuality as a taboo topic, with all the inevitable negative associations, people saw this most natural of all acts as auspicious, venerable, even "lucky." In practicing the Sexual Secrets, a couple will find an ideal vehicle for realizing the true equality between man and woman. Freed from sexual frustration, inhibitions, and feelings of guilt, couples will experience themselves moving closer and closer together, rather than further apart.

Both Tantra and Taoism teach that incorrect sexual attitudes and practices are the underlying cause not only of psychological but of physical and spiritual problems as well. Positively oriented sexuality offers the most direct and harmonious method of resolving these problems.

We hope that this book will provide a fertile ground of reference for individuals and couples wishing to participate in the universal nourishing force of sensual ecstasy. When one's sexuality is brought into harmony with one's natural spirituality, a whole new dimension of reality opens up. It is our contention that the acceptance of guilt-free, creative sexuality is a panacea for many modern psychological ills.

A couple in intimate union. From a Rajasthani miniature painting, of the late eighteenth century.

All physical and psychological debility must ultimately be attributed to the faulty practice of sex. The Art of Love is to be considered foremost of all the arts in that, correctly practiced, it brings one toward the goal of Immortality.

SU-NU-CHING

glossary

Skt. = Sanskrit word

Tib. = Tibetan word

Ch. = Chinese word

Jap. = Japanese word

Adi Shakti (Skt.) The original Shakti, the Creative Principle of Divine Energy in its female personification.

Agni (Skt.) The Fire god of the Hindu pantheon. Portrayed as two-headed, seventongued, and red-colored. As the celestial fire, he is also known as Surya, the sun; in the microcosm, he dwells in the Navel Chakra (solar plexus).

AH (Skt.) The first vowel-sound of the Sanskrit alphabet. A Tantric sound-syllable signifying the beginning of all creation. In the Subtle Body of Tantra, "AH" is focused in the Throat Chakra.

Ahuyabarada Mudra (Skt.) Gesture of mystic invitation. Posture of a sex initiatress, with one hand on the hip.

Ajna Chakra (Skt.) The Third Eye or Brow Chakra of the Subtle Body of Tantra, depicted as a two-petaled lotus. A glyph of the pineal gland, which controls the psycho-organism.

Akarna Dhanurasana (Skt.) "Akarna" means near to the ear, "dhanu" is a bow, and "dhanur" an archer. This Yoga posture makes the legs and back very flexible and aids the control of sexual energy. Literally the "near-ear bow posture."

Ali (Skt.) The fifteen Sanskrit vowel-sounds, which the Tantras equate with the left channel of the Subtle Body. The seed-syllables of the fifteen Yoginis, linked to the phases of the moon. Intimate female friends and the zodiacal sign of Scorpio.

Amritakala (Skt.) The changing location of erotic passion in the body of woman, linked to the phases of the moon.

Apana (Skt.) The downward-moving life current, one of two main vital airs of the body. The Apana is focused in the lower digestive region and extends to the anus. Associated with the color orange-red, it governs the eliminative function.

Aperture of Brahma See Brahmarandhra.

Ardhanarisvara (Skt.) The androgynous Shiva where left side is female and right side is

male. Symbol of the balanced union of Shiva and Shakti, the resolution of inner and outer dualities. The hermaphrodite, a glyph of mysticism and sensuality. An alchemical archetype.

Asana (Skt.) A position that is both firm and pleasant. A Yoga posture or method of sitting, employed to harness and control the psychophysical energies of body and mind.

Asvini Mudra (Skt.) The contraction and dilation of the anal sphincter muscles. An effective way of awakening sexual energy and channeling it upward. Asvini literally means "mare."

Avadhuti (Skt.) The female adept of sexual Yoga. A secret name for the central channel of the Subtle Body of Tantra, otherwise referred to as Sushumna.

Avalokiteshwara (Skt.) The embodiment of compassion. A Bodhisattva, one who is freed from the notion of self and who works for the Liberation of others. A savior and symbol of transcendence through the removal of delusion. His Mantra is "OM-MANI-PADME- HUM . "

Bandha (Skt.) Literally, to contract, lock, knot, bind, catch, or restrain. Refers to Yoga postures that constrict or control particular body organs or energies; postures that channel back normally outward-flowing energy. Good for aiding the retention of semen and the involuntary urge to orgasm.

Bandha Padmasana (Skt.) The bound lotus posture. From Padmasana (the cross-legged lotus pose) the arms are crossed behind the back, each hand catching and holding the opposite toes. This posture enhances flexibility in the neck, shoulders, and back, and is used to awaken the latent Kundalini.

Base Chakra See Muladhara.

Bhagasana (Skt.) A Yoga posture in which the feet are placed together, as if in prayer, below the genitals. This posture is assumed to honor the cosmic Yoni, the all-encompassing female energy of creation. An advanced posture for ecstatic equilibrium.

Bhairavi Chakra (Skt.) The worship of the goddess Kali through a circle of sexually active couples; the "divine orgy" common to pagan religions. In the Tantric tradition, the Bhairavi Chakra is practiced to gain occult powers.

Bhakti (Skt.) Faith or spiritual devotion. Homage, piety, love as a religious principle. The uplifting force of faith.

Bhujangasana (Skt.) The cobra posture. A Yoga position that exercises the spine and tones up the internal organs. It improves circulation and respiration and stimulates sexuality.