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ring to these as the Nominal Kiss (when the mouths just touch), the Throbbing Kiss (when the woman moves her lower lip as her lover presses his lips to her mouth), and the Touching Kiss (when the woman uses her tongue). A number of other types of kisses are then described:

T H E S T R A I G H T K I S S

W h e n the lips of both lovers are brought into direct contact with each other.

T H E B E N T K I S S

When the heads of both lovers are bent toward each other.

T H E T U R N E D KISS

When one of the partners turns up the face of the other by holding the head and chin.

T H E P R E S S E D K I S S

When the lower lip is pressed forcefully.

T H E GREATLY P R E S S E D K I S S

When the lower lip is held and touched with the tongue and pressed forcefully.

T H E KISS O F T H E U P P E R LIP

When a man kisses the upper lip of the woman, while she kisses his lower lip.

T H E C L A S P I N G K I S S

When one of the partners takes both lips of the other between his or her own lips.

F I G H T I N G O F T H E T O N G U E

When one of the partners touches the tongue, teeth, and palate of the other with his or her tongue.

Deep kissing creates an exchange of vital juices between the partners. Tantra teaches that when a couple make love, their bodies produce subtle secretions that are mutually vitalizing and nourishing. Saliva has a spe-

cial property that is effective in harmonizing the Yin and Yang forces in the couple (see "Medicine of the Three Peaks"). A Tantric love-making technique suggests that the woman place the tip of her tongue against the roof of her mouth, just behind the front teeth, as her orgasm approaches. The tongue is then offered to her partner, so he can gently and lovingly suck the sweet saliva produced from the climax. This is a special secret that has great healing and medicinal value to the couple.

Learn to relax the muscles of the face and mouth when kissing. Remember that kissing allows the essential fluids of ecstasy to mingle and combine in the twin "crucibles" of the mouths. When the art of kissing is cultivated, love-making becomes more intense and fulfilling.

Kissing exchanges vital secretions and energies. Taoist and Tantric teachings stress the harmonizing value of deep erotic kissing.

Tantra teaches that woman has a subtle nerve connecting her clitoris to the region of the upper lip. Known as the Wisdom Conch-like Nerve, it channels orgasmic energy.

When a man kisses the upper lip of a woman, it is known as the Special Kiss of the Upper Lip. At such a time, she should kiss his lower lip.

KAMA SUTRA

the embrace

All contact between the bodies of lovers is known as a form of embrace. The embrace has a great range of significance, from the

friendly hug to the passionate intermingling of limbs. It is not the mere physical contact of bodies that constitutes the embrace, but the intentions and emotions behind that contact. Any physical contact between the couple can be called an embrace when it is motivated by love and the desire to express intimacy. When partners hold hands, their fingers intertwined, the hands can be said to

be embracing. The Kama Sutra suggests that even shampooing can be considered a form of embrace.

A child experiences love from the mother in the form of loving embraces. Without this body contact, the child feels deprived and begins to exhibit neurotic symptoms. Animals in the wild spend a great deal of time in physical contact with one another, preening, cuddling, and playing together. This is a process of "bonding," which ties them together, stimulates recognition, and harmonizes the group.

Both the Kama Sutra and the Ananga Ranga list eight kinds of embrace, which are beautifully described. The following is a synthesis of the different types of embrace according to the Indian tradition.

T W I N I N G LIKE A C R E E P E R

This is a standing embrace, with the woman clinging to the body of the man, in the same way that a creeper twines around a tree trunk. She should raise one leg and put it around his thigh, kissing him repeatedly and drawing his head down to hers.

CLIMBING OF A T R E E

This is another standing embrace. The man stands and the woman places one of her feet on his and raises the other leg to the height of his thigh, pressing herself against him passionately. Then, encircling his waist with her arms, in the way that a man prepares to climb a palm tree, she should hold and press him forcibly. She should bend her body over his and kiss him as if she were drinking the Water of Life.

M I X T U R E O F R I C E A N D

SESAME S E E D

This can be either a standing or a lying embrace. The couple should hold each other so closely that the arms and thighs of one are totally encircled by the arms and thighs of the other, rubbing up against them. Then contact between the Lingam and Yoni can be made and maintained for some time.

M I X T U R E O F M I L K A N D W A T E R

The couple embrace passionately, as if entering into each other's bodies. The limbs of one touch and are entangled with the corresponding parts of the partner's body. This form of embrace

can be practiced in a standing, sitting, or lying position.

E M B R A C E O F T H E T H I G H S

One of the lovers forcibly presses one or both of the thighs of the other between his or her own. This can be practiced in a number of different positions.

E M B R A C E O F T H E M I D D L E

The man presses the middle part, the hips, loins, and thighs of the woman to his own. This type of embrace is very pleasant in a sitting position, with either the woman on the man or the reverse.

E M B R A C E O F T H E B R E A S T S

The man places his nipples against the breasts of his partner. He should sit close to her, with his eyes closed, while she presses herself to him. It creates excitement and erotic delight.

E M B R A C E O F T H E F O R E H E A D

This is when forehead touches forehead. Great affection is shown by the

A prince and a lady in standing embrace. From a miniature painting in the collection of the King of Nepal, circa 1830.

Whatever thoughts are in their minds, they vanish completely with the onslaught of passionate embrace. When a man and woman are all in oneness, thus clasped together, there is nothing in the whole world to surpass the superb joy of that moment.

KUTTNI MAHATMYAM

close pressure of the arms around the waist and by the mutual contact of brows, cheeks, mouths, breasts, and bellies.

These eight variations of the embrace are by no means the full limit of possibilities. However, they do express different sentiments and as such are frequently portrayed in Indian art. The embrace is an important aspect of both foreplay and afterplay. A mere

touch or embrace, when consciously employed, can greatly assist in the harmonization of mood and emotions. Any differences or feelings of separateness can be overcome by loving embraces.

Use the embrace to bring yourself and your partner closer together and as part of the preparation for physical union. Unite your bodies and hearts in a melting embrace. Dissolve all worldly problems through a tender or passionate mingling of body and soul.

Ceremonial defloration was a common feature of priestly cultures. It is still practiced among tribal peoples of India and Africa. From a Rajasthani miniature painting of the eighteenth century.

the first time

There is always a first time for love-making. With the ever increasing liberalization of sexual attitudes in the West, there is a tendency to regard the first act of love-making casually. Yet this is something that has a deep effect on the psyche. Quite a number of people find great difficulty in overcoming their fears or guilt after a disappointing initial sexual experience. Such an experience often has a long-lasting influence, as the psychiatric profession can testify.

The loss of virginity often proves to be a traumatic or disappointing event for the young girl. In the East, marriage traditionally took place just after the onset of puberty. The girl and boy would therefore have the opportunity to explore their sexuality as it dawned, within a committed relationship. Until recently in the West, a woman was expected to remain a virgin until her marriage, which could be quite late in life. She therefore suffered many years of sexual frustration and uncertainty.

In India, and in certain tribes in Africa,

girls were ceremonially deflowered with a symbolic representation of the Shiva Lingam, a ritual object kept especially for this pur-

pose, or by squatting upon the Lingam of a statue of Shiva. Often this ceremony would

take place in front of the whole tribe and would be an occasion of celebration. In some tribes, the defloration of virgins was performed by an older woman. Strange as this custom may seem to the modern Westerner, it effectively takes the onus of defloration from a man and makes it a ritually significant act. In some ways, this seems preferable to the modern tendency for a girl to either give her maidenhead indiscriminately or to hoard it fearfully.

The Perfumed Garden, an Arabian book of the sixteenth century, states, "A suitor contemplating marriage should choose a virgin, whose love for him will be enduring and who will never forget the man who takes her virginity." There is some psychological truth to this statement, for it is important that the experience of the First Time be as meaningful as possible.

When a man finds himself in the position of being a girl's first lover, he should be sensitive to the honor and responsibility involved. He should gently allay her fears and encourage her to open herself to him carefully.

For a girl, it is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The man should be aware of this and treat her as a goddess. Envisioning himself as the representative of Lord Shiva, the Supreme Yogi, he should initiate her into sex gently and in the spirit of service.

The first time for a boy or young man is usually less associated with feelings of "loss" than it is for a girl. A boy's initiation into the wonders of sexuality is often most successful when it is accomplished by an older or experienced woman. If both partners are inexperienced, the problems of sudden loss of erection or premature ejaculation can create obstacles. An experienced woman can take a young man through the stages of love-mak- ing with care and consideration, boosting his confidence.

Eastern mystical teachings advise that when a couple make love together for the first time, they should take great care to ensure that the experience is as complete and meaningful as possible. This will potentize their relationship so it can evolve. The custom of considering a marriage formalized only after the first night of consummation was developed by priests who recognized the consequence and deep significance of lovemaking. The marriage contract was considered "sealed" once a couple had experienced physical union.

If either or both partners have never made love before, it is especially important to make the first time a memorable and joyous occasion. It is here that sexual ritual makes a major contribution. Everything that leads up to the physical act of love can be understood as ritual, provided it is accompanied by conscious intent.

If it is the first time, then the partners should each take care to put the feelings of the other first. Casting aside egotism, each should surrender to the divinity within. If they honor the Lingam and Yoni as allies into ecstasy, all doubts and fears will fall away.

A Taoist text known as the Poetry of the

Supreme Joy gives a beautiful description of the consummation of a wedding night:

On a beautiful Spring evening, while enjoying the light of red candles, the groom takes out his Crimson Bird and unties the bride's red silk trousers. He lifts her fair legs and caresses her Jade-like buttocks; she holds his Jade Stalk in her hand and fondles it. The man sucks her tongue,

with the result that her mind becomes detached from all worldliness. He then moistens the inside of her Cavern with his saliva and she offers her Field for him to plow. Before she realizes it, her virginity is breached. As she opens herself to him, he inserts deeply and begins to move vigorously; soon his Boy is open and his semen ejaculated. Afterward the couple wipe their sexual parts with the Six Girdles, which are then placed in a basket. From this moment on, they are considered to be truly married. The union of their Yin and Yang energies will continue without interruption from then on.

The text does not elaborate on what the Six Girdles are, but clearly they are part of the ritual of consummation and are kept as talismans. In the Tantric tradition of India, female adepts or Yoginis wore six kinds of ritual ornaments: necklaces, earrings, bracelets, arm-bands, anklets, and girdles. These symbolize, respectively, charity, fortitude, fidelity, work, action, and energy (according to the Chandamaharosana Tantra).

The idea that the couple is permanently joined once physical union has been completed ritualistically is expressed in the Ananga Ranga: "It is good to know that if a husband and wife live together in absolute closeness, as one soul in a single body, then they will be happy both in this world and in the one to come." This idea is echoed throughout Indian and other mystical teachings.

The Poetry of the Supreme Joy goes on to give a fuller description of consummation:

On a moonlit night the couple read the

Sexual Handbook of the Plain Girl, looking at the illustrations of love-making postures. Screens are placed in a circle around the couch and the pillows

are laid out. The beautiful woman then takes off her silk bodice and unknots her red silk trousers, which are embroidered with flowers. Her waist is seen to be as slen-

der as a roll of silk. Her passion has begun to stir; what was previously hidden is now revealed. As the man looks at the exposed lower part of her body, his eyes cloud over. He feels her body and caresses it all

Make the first experience fo sexual union a romantic occasion.

Taoist love-posture, a variation of the classical position known as Jumping Wild Horses. From a woodblock of the seventeenth century, Japan.